Hamburgers suck

So tonight I went to a local eating establishment.  I hadn't eaten in around twenty minutes so naturally, being an American, I was starving.  I procedeed to sit at my table in the far back of the restaurant and ordered what I had been thinking about the entire night, a huge beefy burger.  I relayed my wish for the perfect burger to my waitress and about twenty minutes later i received what I had wanted(in a sense).  I was starving and yet I had no desire to ever eat again with what seemed like a forty five pound burger in front of me.  I looked at my waitress in an almost questioning way.  If she could have read my thoughts it would have probably sounded like this, "Really waitress you are just going to give me the whole cow then?" Luckily she was just a normal person and didn't read my mind so I just gave her a hopeless look which she probably took as a thank you.  I took about four bites of my burger that was mediocre at best. After those four bites I hated every part of my existence.  If you ever go to a restaurant in the near future let these please warn you at least a little.  If the hamburger costs more than three dollars I urge you, don't get it.  You will not even come close to eating half of the burger so just don't get it....Please.. I hate burgers.